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| The Two Percent Company's Rants

...forging the unknown into common knowledge, eradicating bullshit and ignorance, and fighting for truth, justice, and the use of science, reason and logic to further the progress of humankind.

— • —

Mainstream Media Reports Reality
2008.07.10 (Thu) 14:26

Everybody's favorite skeptic pal Skeptico is pretty on-the-ball, and contacted us about an article in the Phoenix New Times from reporter Megan Irwin. Thanks, Skep. Funny thing is, we already knew about the article in advanced — Megan contacted us about it to get some research done. The article? An absolutely fair and balanced — for once, in the accurate meaning of the phrase — look at the claims of Allison DuBois, our good old Queen of Medium Media Bitchiness.

And boy, does Megan get it right:

That's the thing about DuBois. She's charismatic as hell, and most definitely has friends in high places, but when it comes down to high-profile cases she claims to have worked, the cops and the family members of the victims deny she was any help.

And that's, as always, what it comes down to — Allison says a lot, but nobody who should actually have reason to know ever, ever backs her up. Why hasn't Allison folded up her bullshit psychic shop and called it a day? Well, because she still has so much money to get! Er, we mean, she still has so many bestselling books to write! That is, uh, she still has so many lectures to be paid for! Um, wait...she still has so many people to help?

Nah, just fucking with you. The first three seem pretty spot on.

Megan got in touch with us (through a series of trying technical glitches which, honestly, demonstrated to us just how dedicated and clever a journalist she is) because of our Allison DuBois series of Rants, and in particular because we are still occasionally in touch with Karen and Kris — the sisters of Domini, a deceased woman whose memory and family Allison has outright fucking stomped on in her neverending lust for fame and money. (For the record, one more time: Allison, you're a disgusting fuck.) We let Karen know about Megan's intended article, and they got connected — the result is a stellar article that, for the first time, has a mainstream media outlet looking at the facts about Allison DuBois instead of just swallowing her bullshit stories.

The most excellent part of Megan's article is how this intrepid reporter approached the piece: in short, she collected stories, asked Allison about them, took Allison's claims to the other people involved, gave Allison their responses, and reported Allison's reactions. Across the board, Allison displays her deluded and/or deceptive callousness:

DuBois doesn't see what Randi and others are so upset about.

"The big argument is that we're tricking people out of money. Our clients don't think that. They're very happy.

"I don't know who you're speaking for," she says to her critics. "You're spinning your wheels, wasting your time on people who want to get help."

Ah, Allison! Once again proving that you're the sneering, arrogant ass we all know you to be. Whether or not your "clients" are happy, Allison, you are still tricking them out of money. If you were delivering what they are paying for — contact with their dead relatives, information about the future, whatever — then you wouldn't be tricking them. But since neither you nor any so-called psychic can deliver that, you are, by definition, taking money to provide a service you are not providing.

Clear enough yet, you deluded cunt?

We were especially happy to see that Megan was able to take Karen's statements about her sister Domini, which directly refute Allison's claims, and put those in front of Allison for comment. Basically, all of the information that Karen and Kris provided us with for our Rants was put in front of Allison, most notably: that Domini died as a result of melanoma (which had nothing to do with cigarettes, contrary to Allison's claims); and that Allison never saw Domini at the end of her life to "put her mind at ease" (the only people who saw her in hospice care were her family members, despite Allison's direct claims). And what is Allison's response to these assertions?

"If they weren't there every day of my life, and every day of her life — which they weren't — they can not call into question my affection for Domini," she says.

So...wait. Your "affection" is all well and good, kid (though we even have our doubts about that), but fuck that — what about the items that Karen has offered as actual facts? Allison doesn't seem to be disputing those at all! Does that mean that Allison now tacitly admits that her claims about warning Domini to stop smoking being psychic revelations are flatly wrong? And how about Allison's statements about taking away Domini's fear on her deathbed? Does that mean that Allison quietly acknowledges that she didn't see Domini in hospice care and that her "touching" story about easing her friend's mind was pulled from her ass in an attempt to make a buck?

Quoth Allison:

"The thing that was nice was, I was able to take her fear away," she says. "And when she was getting ready to pass she was, like, 'You're right. I can see my grandfather, and I know that they're there.' It was very important to me that she knew that before she died."

Karen corrects her:

Karen says it's all a lie. Her sister died of malignant melanoma, and her death, as she describes it, was gruesome. Domini saw no one but family in the months before she died and, two weeks before her death, entered a drug-induced coma that she never came out of. There was no wide-eyed deathbed vision.

"I want to clarify: The last time Ali saw Domini she was still walking around," Sitts says. "She was cognizant and was nowhere near dying."

Sitts says her sister was terrified of dying because she thought she was going to Hell. She held on to life to the point that her body began to decompose.

"I want to stress what a terrible state my sister was in when she died. Because if Allison had known, I'm sure she would have written something about that. But she wasn't there," she says. "The day she died, we were washing her and her ass actually came off. You could see her bones. It was the worst thing I've ever been through in my life. When Allison writes about my sister's death, it's really romanticized, and the fact of the matter is, it was ugly and painful."

So when confronted with Karen's claims that clearly counter her own, all Allison can do is feign offense and pretend that her affection for Domini is being "questioned"? No, Allison, you deluded twat — what's being questioned, as always, is your hazy recollection and/or misrepresentation of the facts.

And Allison's answer to Karen's claim:

DuBois says Karen Sitts is absolutely wrong. She says the only reason she wasn't around during hospice was because the family wouldn't let her in.

Wait: "absolutely wrong"? Karen says you weren't there, douchebag. You now say that you weren't allowed in. Gee, sounds like Karen is one hundred percent correct, actually. See, she wasn't talking about your feelings on the matter, Allison — just, once again, the motherfucking facts. And you, Allison, just admitted that you lied when you claimed you were there at the end of Domini's life. Your claims, therefore, are demonstrably, utterly false. Thanks, Allison, for confirming what we already suspected with a pretty high level of confidence.

Allison continues with this:

"It's frustrating. I memorialized her, and half the world is in love with her and praying for [Domini's daughter] Marissa. That's all positive. I don't see how that could make them angry."

Allow us to take a stab at enlightening you, Allison. How about because you shit all over the actual memory of their sister with your cheap, fake bullshit which is — unequivocally and completely — done in order to gain fame and fortune for yourself? You infuriatingly ignorant fucking cunt.

Of course, by writing this article, Megan has now firmly "declared" herself an enemy of DuBois fans worldwide — and this, of course, simply because she reported reality, both to Allison and to her readers. Is it any wonder why we call these fucks credulous asshats? (As Megan delightfully reported — we loved that bit.) Folks, if reality makes you think someone is mean, then you are clearly angry because you want to live with your delusions. In which case: live with them, but shut the fuck up, and stop pretending that your groundless claims have anything to do with the facts.

The thread following Megan's article is pathetically typical of the idiot crowd. Since they are utterly unable to argue any of Megan's points — you know, since she's just reporting the actual facts — they resort, as always, to attacking Megan directly, bringing up irrelevant (and incorrect) bullshit, and generally tsk-ing at Megan's mean, mean attack on poor little Allison. Poor little Allison, who is, of course, by no means poor, having fleeced most of these very same idiots to earn her millions.

You fuckholes. Wake up.

There's also an excellent page of letters following the publication of the article, which actually comes down just a hair on the side of reality. Sure, there are plenty of idiots slamming Megan and repeating bullshit claims (like major news outlets never release the names of children in biographical articles like this), but there's also a good number of folks pointing out the quite objective nature of the article — how Allison comes off looking like a fool because she's a fool — including a guy who claims to be a medium himself, yet still understands the need for verification of Allison's claims. (Boy is Allison gonna get him.)

The kicker, though, was a reaction from Allison herself on Megan's New Times blog:

Allison DoBois, the (um...) psychic/medium, predicts that her next book will be about--me. Well, kind of.

In this week's cover story, I profiled DuBois and her rise to fame as the namesake for the TV show Medium. DuBois did not like the story. As she wrote in an e-mail last night, "Well the Phx. PD must love you. Me not so much."

When I did not respond immediately, she wrote again:

"You and your family are sooooo going to enjoy my new book this year."

And less than an hour later:

"I'm so glad you are good with public record. Yours will be too."

Hmmm, why does she need public records to dig up stuff on me or my family? I'm saying, wouldn't she just know that the most embarrassing thing out there about me is a story I wrote about myself.

Of course, as Megan (along with our rational readers) already knows, Allison "writing about you" in a new book means she'll make up some new stories that make you look bad, and herself look good. You know, Allison, if you'd just market your books under the fiction section, we'd think slightly better of you. Slightly.

Meanwhile, we can't wait to see what bullshit she makes up about Megan. What we're wondering, of course, is if she'll be stupid enough (oh, pretty please!) and Megan will be financially secure enough (oh, pretty please!) for a lawsuit to happen. More likely, she'll make silly veiled references and Megan will get to laugh her ass off when the book reaches print. More likely than that, some PR person will get to Allison and point out that talking about Megan at all would be a pretty fucking stupid idea.

Not that that will 100% guarantee she won't do it.

Welcome aboard, Megan. The reality-based community is pleased as punch to have you around.

Allison DuBois: Debunked! (2%Co)

[  Filed under: % Allison DuBois Week  % Bullshit  % Media & Censorship  ]
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The George Who Actually Could Speak English...All Of It
2008.06.24 (Tue) 09:20

Carlin is dead. Long live shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.

George Carlin was a sensible man, a rational man, a funny man, and a guy who just loved the way words — and, more importantly, our culture's use of words — totally fucked with everybody's sensibilities when, in any rational world, they just shouldn't.

We'll miss George, because he would have really needled people like Mark Caro and Glen Jeffers of the Chicago Tribune, who did a quick write-up on Carlin's effect on our society:

Carlin's impact on language and culture persists to this day...

Words such as "sucks" [and "shit," on the infamous South Park episode] have gone mainstream....

At the same time, other words have become even more loaded. Black comedian-turned-activist Dick Gregory's 1964 autobiography, which sold 7 million copies, was titled with a racial slur, yet when rapper Nas wanted to give his upcoming CD that same title, the outcry was such that he had to change it to a to-be-announced alternative.

...

Still, Carlin's "seven words" retain their power.

You certainly won't see them in this newspaper.


[our emphasis]

Well, gee, guys — isn't that the problem?

The fact that you guys don't feel able to report the title of Dick Gregory's book — it was Nigger: An Autobiography, by the way — even though you're not using it in the context of an insult or epithet, and the fact that anyone commenting on the Trib article would have to be careful of a direct reference, lest they be censored, moderated or banned, flies in the face of what Carlin was trying to point out.

The fact that you can't feel free to list those seven words yourselves, because oh, heavens forfend the man's actual point be made in an article written to honor his death, is a big problem we have with the shit the mainstream media puts out. For fuck's sake, how can you report on profanity, or subjects relating to specific aspects of language, if you refuse to use the language itself?

We're not outright blaming Caro and Jeffers for this, but for fuck's sake, what is wrong with the mainstream media that guys like these reporters, who are probably pretty regular, smart writers who throw in some choice "asshats" and the like when the occasion calls for it, "know" damn well that it could mean their jobs if they actually published something that read that way?

Our own feelings on swearing and strong language in general are known, but we'd like to point out that George Carlin's really smart take on this issue had precisely the right point to make...and that point is, simply, this:

Words don't have the power. Our USE of words has the power.

Once you understand that, it's pretty easy to honor Carlin's memory. And it's pretty easy to understand the difference between referring to Dick Gregory's book, Nigger, and referring to Dick Gregory as a nigger. Something which we, personally, don't feel inclined to do — but fuck you if you say we can't use the word to illustrate how we won't use it.

So long, George. The sensible and rational will carry the torch. And now, in memory of George, everybody please recite, together:

Rest in Cunts and Cocksuckers, George

Shit.

Piss.

Fuck.

Cunt.

Cocksucker.

Motherfucker.

Tits.

A-fucking-men.


[  Filed under: % Bullshit  % Civil Liberties  % Media & Censorship  % Two Percent Toons  ]
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How to Precisely Line Up Your Conclusions With Your Expectations
2008.04.17 (Thu) 11:42

It's simple, really: just assume whatever you want to be true, and you've got your conclusions.

Divorce and out-of-wedlock childbearing cost U.S. taxpayers more than $112 billion a year, according to a study commissioned by four groups advocating more government action to bolster marriages.

...

Reducing these costs, [study author Ben] Scafidi said, "is a legitimate concern of government, policymakers and legislators."

And:

"The study documents for the first time that divorce and unwed childbearing — besides being bad for children — are costing taxpayers a ton of money," said David Blankenhorn, president of the Institute for American Values.

"We keep hearing this from state legislators, 'Explain to me why this is any of my business? Aren't these private matters?'" Blankenhorn said. "Take a look at these numbers and tell us if you still have any doubt."

Tell you if we still have any doubt? Okay.

Dear Mssrs. Scafidi and Blankenhorn,

Please consider this your official notification of our doubt.

Most sincerely,
Rational People.

Seriously — doubt? Just for starters, we'd like to know how you came up with your unbelievable statistics.

Scafidi's calculations were based on the assumption that households headed by a single female have relatively high poverty rates, leading to higher spending on welfare, health care, criminal justice and education for those raised in the disadvantaged homes.

Ah, now we understand. So it's not really a study so much as it's a baseless assumption with numbers wrapped around it. Gotcha. Now it makes sense, because we know it's utter crap.

This fucking study doesn't even bother to establish causality. It seems content to assume that it's the divorces and the unwed parents that lead to more poverty, but it ignores the fact that it's just as valid (or more so) to assume that the poverty leads to increased rates of divorce and single-parenthood. And if poverty is the problem that causes this massive $112 billion issue, then why not combat that? Spending more money on increased employment, job training, and economic recovery are all general examples that might work a damn bit better than trying to combat poverty by offering marriage skills "training" on the taxpayer's dime. (That's all of us, folks.)

Perhaps — and we're just spitballing here — perhaps poverty is the root cause of all of the problems here. The study agrees that poverty leads to increased spending on criminal justice, welfare, health care, and education...but then doesn't see that the same poverty, along with those particular corollaries, is the most likely cause for unwanted pregnancies leading to single parenting and unhappy marriages ending in divorce? The term "intentionally fucking obtuse" leaps to mind here. Here's one of their "striking examples":

[Elizabeth Ananat and Guy Michaels] are able to study married couples who do and do not divorce and conclude that "divorce significantly increases the odds that a woman with children is poor."

And this suggests causality how? The fact that a divorced woman is more likely to be poor doesn't establish the cause of that poverty in any way, shape, or form. In fact, we'll stick to our hypothesis that it's more likely that the poverty causes the divorce, rather than the other way around. We don't think that's any more statistically valid, off the cuff, but it makes a whole lot more sense in context. And we didn't even have to make up any math to offer our idea!

It's telling that the Scafidi paper, while putting great stock in the Ananat-Michaels results, entirely ignores the actual point of that data.

One of the primary points of the Ananat-Michaels results was that the mean income does not decrease due to divorce. Using specific indicators that endeavor to isolate the relationship between divorce and poverty from any other factors (though we're not sure that we agree they were totally successful), Ananat and Michaels demonstrated that, statistically, many divorced women will earn less, but that those who end up earning more will earn substantially more, which (apparently) more than offsets the poverty-stricken women when it comes to determining the mean income.

In other words, since it is the overall income of these women, collectively, that will affect other taxpayers (like you and us), Scafidi's conclusion is utter bullshit. Yes, the individual women themselves will often end up in poverty, and we can (and should) certainly be concerned about that, but this nonsense about our taxes having to support scads of unmarried mothers is just Scafidi's imagination, inspired by a healthy dose of, er, sponsorship from the Institute for American Values.

As Justin Wolfers explains:

The Ananat-Michaels result is that divorce seems to help the finances of about as many women as it hurts, and those who gain, may gain more than those who lose. But this report counts up the costs to the taxpayer from the women who lose income, but refuses to count even a single dollar of the rise in taxes linked to those who gain income.

What incredibly selective statistics you've discovered, Benjamin Scafidi! And all it took was a bunch of people with an agenda asking you to write up some numbers for them to make their case look good. Nice job, you fucking weasel.

Wolfers continues:

Amazingly, the advocates [Scafidi and his fundamentalist overlords] put together "fiscal" costs of divorce without even understanding the tax code. The U.S. tax system is structured so that when poor single mothers marry men with higher incomes, in most cases, the total tax paid by husband and wife would fall. Yet this isn't counted.

Those poor single women aren't robbing us of tax revenue, they are actually paying more than if they were married! (Yes, the tax code does include a marriage penalty for some couples who are both high earners, but for most couples, the U.S. gives you a tax break for getting married.)

Please do have a look at the rest of Wolfers' article — it's pretty incredible how intellectually dishonest Scafidi's piece of shit paper is.

And there's more to consider: if you truly do believe that divorce and unwed or single parenting lead to more poverty, and that therefore the government has a vested interest in lessening the impact of that poverty, then it seems to us that a rather logical conclusion is that we should focus on teaching the facts about contraception in public schools. All this bullshit "abstinence only" nonsense is only making the likelihood of unwanted (and, as such, usually unwed) pregnancies even higher. In addition, when two teens who weren't planning on getting married any time soon (if at all) get married due to an unplanned pregnancy, that certainly isn't the best bet for a long, happy marriage. We're willing to bet the statistics on that assertion hold up better than Scafidi's lopsided math.

But wait — there's something else that might be even more effective in confronting this problem. The issue here seems to be the effects of poverty on children who are raised by single parents or who experience a divorce. It strikes us that, if only we had some way to terminate unwanted pregnancies...some way to stop a pregnancy before a zygote developed into an actual baby, perhaps some kind of, we don't know, abortive procedure of some sort...then we'd have a whole lot less single parents and divorced parents (since we'd have less parents in general, and fewer resultant forced or reluctant marriages, which are inherently less likely to last). So perhaps, in addition to adequate sex education, the government should also promote abortions as a viable alternative to having a baby, when prospective parents really just aren't ready to have one from a social and economic perspective. Having a baby when you aren't ready to support one leads to — you guessed it — a higher likelihood of poverty. We aren't saying that abortions are a wonderful alternative, or that they are for everyone (though the same can be said of divorce and single parenthood, and of marriage itself), but we are saying that educating people about the facts of contraception and abortion would very likely decrease the number of unexpected pregnancies, unwanted marriages, and broken families.

In case you'd like to take a closer look at Scafidi's very scholarly "study," you can head over to the Institute for American Values where it's housed in their "Center for Marriage and Families" and listed under "real, honest-to-gosh scientific-like research." Try your best not to be sidetracked by their ham-handed arguments against same-sex marriage, and their diatribes about the "proper" roles of men and women in a "proper" family.

What a bunch of fucking disingenuous assholes.

You know what? Here's our idea for a "study." We think Fundamentalist Christianity is fucking up our world. Further, we'll assume that Fundy families are more likely to be stupid, and as such, Christianity leads to more taxes being spent to educate their indoctrinated kids who keep getting left back over and over again because they think that early man lived side-by-side with fucking dinosaurs and rode them like bucking fucking brontos. Also, of course, more Fundamentalist-educated nitwits are ill-informed (or outright misinformed) about birth control than any other group (thanks to abstinence-only sex "education"), which leads to more unwanted teen pregnancies — which, due to the indoctrinated religious idiocy surrounding abortion, are invariably carried to term and often result in higher incidences of low-income teens getting married too young (since good "religious values" demand that they do) and earning too little (since they were so badly and briefly educated that they can't make their way in the professional world)...which, in turn, results in more poverty. More poverty, as we all know (we just read a study about this, if we recall), drives increased spending on welfare, health care, criminal justice, and education for those raised in such a stupidly disadvantaged home.

Of course, none of these assumptions are verified — we just reckon it's all true. But the obvious conclusion is that the government has a vested interest in destroying Fundamentalist Christianity. How could you come to any other conclusion? So let's get on that, and institute a government program using our tax dollars and yours to wipe out Fundamentalist Christianity in our country before it ruins our economy and quality of life. Heck, just to be safe, let's wipe out all Christianity. Or better yet, all religion. That oughta do it! After all, given the fact that the overwhelming majority of Americans are Christians (and all but a small handful are associated with some religion), we've just proven, beyond any doubt, that religion is costing America way more than $112 billion per year in tax money.

Reducing these costs by eradicating religion, the Two Percent Company said, "is a legitimate concern of government, policymakers and legislators."

At this point, we could either say "Oh, wouldn't it be nice?" or "You know how fucking facetiously we're writing this, right?" But it wouldn't matter; quote mining is as quote mining does, or so they say.

Fucking disingenuous assholes.

(It bore repeating.)


[  Filed under: % Government & Politics  % Religion  ]
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Another Gris Gris Bites the Dust
2008.01.23 (Wed) 21:50

We're the subject of lots of idiotic verbal attacks. Many of them amount to little more than "you guys suck!" — these lame, drive-by insults, left by people who lack the ability to counter our arguments, can be found all over our site. But that's not the only category of negative comment that we receive on a regular basis.

Sometimes someone who considers himself to be rational comes to our site, and finds himself nodding at everything he reads — applauding our approaches and our conclusions on a host of subjects. Until, that is, he comes to one...particular...subject. The subject in question varies from person to person, but, in this scenario, the end result is always the same. Upon reading about how we applied the same logic and reason to this one subject that we have applied to every other subject, our heretofore staunch ally suddenly does an abrupt about-face.

Now don't get us wrong — disagreement with us is not only acceptable, it's desired. We've said on many occasions that we aren't looking for blind adherance to our positions, but rather intelligent discourse. The problem is that, in the scenario we're writing about, the reader who has consistently — just like we have — applied logic and reason to every other subject we've written about has — unlike us — abandoned these tools when it comes to his pet topic. As Penn & Teller said: "Everybody got a gris gris" — meaning that everyone has some silly belief or behavior that they cling to, regardless of their usual rational approach to topics in general. Upon reading our treatment of his own gris gris, a reader who previously applauded our logic now declares that we are irrational assholes who have set aside logic and reason in order to arrive at our opinion on this one subject. In other words, he accuses us of doing precisely what he himself has just done.

We've seen this so many times; like when readers laugh along with us at those kooks who believe in psychics...and then proclaim that Jesus is the only way to salvation, and condemn us for calling Christianity a silly belief. We've also seen it when someone agrees that, say, Reiki is an unproven, ineffective form of quackery, but then insists that applying the same label to aromatherapy is just wrong.

But to be totally honest, up until a few months back, we hadn't ever seen this "argument" coming from a pedophile.

['Another Gris Gris Bites the Dust' continues below the fold...]

[  Filed under: % Civil Liberties  % Government & Politics  ]
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