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The End of an Error
2009.01.20 (Tue) 15:58
A little over four years ago, we launched the Two Percent Company. We did so in order to confront a host of disturbing trends that seemed — to us, anyway — to be sweeping like a wave of rampant asshattery across our nation.
To be honest, the impetus had more to do with our growing realizations than with the actual events unfolding. We had only semi-recently learned that there really are people who doubt the veracity of evolutionary theory, and who want to teach silly bible stories in public schools, and we discovered that somewhere between 50% and 90% (depending upon the form of idiocy) of the people we share the planet with harbor the ludicrous, asinine beliefs that we'd abandoned as the make-believe shit they are way back in grade school (or never bought into for even an instant)...but these trends had apparently been rolling along for quite some time, despite our being unaware of them. Beyond our forehead-smacking enlightenment regarding the abundant existence of morons in the world, however, there was one actual event that lined up quite precisely with the creation and launch of our site, and it was no coincidence: the re-election of George W. Bush.
Prior to Dubya's first election (if you can call it that), our involvement in politics was about as minimal as it gets. We were certainly aware of what was going on, but we were too busy with our lives to care much. In 2000, we weren't big fans of Gore or Bush — we either voted for the "more science-y guy" (you get two guesses, and neither counts until you stop fucking around and just say "Gore!") or sat that one out (like it matters who you vote for in an election decided by judicial committee). Over the next four years, though, we realized what inaction could mean as we watched Bush's administration piss all over the aspects of our country that are most important to us — you know, piddling stuff like civil liberties, economic stability, education, and scientific progress.
By the time the 2004 campaign rolled around, we'd had quite enough. Despite a passionate ambivalence toward John Kerry, we steadfastly supported that "Not Bush" ticket, and dove into the issues so that we could counter bullshit arguments from people whose views just didn't ring true to us, whether due to a lack of evidence, logic, consistency, fairness, compassion, or — frequently — all of the above.
In the end, Bush won re-election (perhaps even legitimately), and we were so fucking pissed off that we didn't know what to do with ourselves. Despite what seemed to us like an obvious choice between an incompetent ass (who'd royally fucked up the nation) and a semi-competent schlub (who, well, hadn't), approximately half of the country voted for the incompetent ass. What could we do?
Our decision was pretty basic: instead of continuing to bitch privately within our group of friends, we would bitch publicly for all the world to see. Our bitching had always been accompanied by a high level of research and analysis, so backing up our rants wouldn't be difficult. And hence the Two Percent Company was born.
Right from the start, Bush's influence on us was evident. Our second post ever (the first was our obligatory introductory post, written only hours earlier) was about the need to combat Dubya's abuses of the Constitution. Over the years, we wrote about federal funding of harmful abstinence-only sex education, federally funded bribes to get the media to back administration policies, the silly beliefs of the Bush family, and their open dislike of atheists, his horrifically inappropriate appointments, his restrictions of civil liberties, his intrusion into the personal lives of others, his social ineptitude, and his general incompetence.
So, in a way, we owe Dubya a debt of gratitude for getting us started. He wasn't the only reason we launched our site, but he was the proverbial straw that got uncomfortably shoved up the camel's ass.
And now, as of mere hours ago, President Dipshit is no longer President of the United States. Today he goes back to being a regular guy — just Joe Dipshit, so to speak. Well, Joe Dipshit with scads of money and Secret Service protection, but you get the idea.
The man has delivered speech after speech declaring that history will remember him fondly; that time and reflection will paint his words and deeds and decisions in a new light, and the world will see just how effective and successful he really was. Does anyone really believe that? First off, it's pretty rare that a despised public figure is "redeemed" a few generations down the road; more often, the noble heroes are proven to have feet of clay (which just means they're human).
But more importantly, to the former President, settling into his new life, we would humbly offer the following:
Go fuck yourself, you ignorant, incompetent fuckhole. The damage you've done to this country will take generations to repair. You have left a legacy of lies, corruption, debt, death, and oppression, and that is what you will be remembered for, in perpetuity, for as long as you are remembered at all. So long, you malignant fucking cockhammer, and fuck you.
And to President Obama, we say:
We're glad you're here — but we aren't in love with you, as some people seem to be. We've seen some of your shortcomings, and before too long, we'll surely see more.
Still: we're counting on you. See, even though anyone is a step up after Dubya (well, almost anyone), it will take an exceptional person to even start to clean up the shitbox he's left behind. And we believe that, whatever your shortcomings, you certainly qualify as an exceptional person — a refreshing change after eight years of the bottom of the barrel.
We don't expect miracles — and we hope that most average Americans don't, though we suspect otherwise.
We don't expect the road to be short — and we have a sense that most average Americans understand that pretty well, though we could be wrong.
But what we do expect is progress. Steps taken to get us back on track. Advancement to becoming a nation, and a world, based on liberty, honesty, and reality.
In short: don't let us down. Show us what you've got.
President Barack Hussein Obama has some hard work ahead of him — and, judging by his demeanor and words, he realizes this. We'll watch and react, and see what he can accomplish in the next four years.
The clean-up has just begun...
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[ Filed under: % Bush Watch % Civil Liberties % Government & Politics % Two Percent Toons ]
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John Morales, 2009.01.20 (Tue) 20:56 [Link] »
Ford, 2009.01.20 (Tue) 23:00 [Link] »
Jason Spicer, 2009.01.21 (Wed) 01:29 [Link] »
The Two Percent Company, 2009.01.25 (Sun) 14:07 [Link] »
Ford, 2009.01.26 (Mon) 23:03 [Link] »
Steve, 2009.07.13 (Mon) 13:17 [Link] »
Steve, 2009.07.13 (Mon) 13:38 [Link] »
Bronze Dog, 2009.07.13 (Mon) 15:57 [Link] »
Bronze Dog, 2009.07.13 (Mon) 16:02 [Link] »
The Two Percent Company, 2009.07.13 (Mon) 19:58 [Link] »
Jason Spicer, 2009.07.19 (Sun) 01:57 [Link] »
TimmyAnn, 2009.07.19 (Sun) 22:29 [Link] »
Ronny, 2010.02.06 (Sat) 12:56 [Link] »
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