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Chalk One Up for the Non-Asshats
2009.03.10 (Tue) 00:15
Okay, this one was a given:
President Obama has signed an executive order ending an 8 1/2-year ban on federal funding for embryonic stem cell research.
"At this moment, the full promise of stem cell research remains unknown, and it should not be overstated," Obama said Monday morning before signing the order. "But scientists believe these tiny cells may have the potential to help us understand, and possibly cure, some of our most devastating diseases and conditions."
The President's speech was equal parts hope for the new research and support for the scientists involved in such work.
"Today, with the executive order I am about to sign, we will bring the change that so many scientists and researchers, doctors and innovators, patients and loved ones have hoped for, and fought for, these past eight years: We will lift the ban on federal funding for promising embryonic stem cell research," Obama said. "We will vigorously support scientists who pursue this research. And we will aim for America to lead the world in the discoveries it one day may yield."
White House officials said Sunday that the president's order will give the National Institutes of Health 120 days to develop ethical guidelines for the research.
"Encompassed in [the executive order] will also be the requirements around guidelines that will be drafted by the NIH [National Institutes of Health] as they ... work with others around the country to make sure we're handling the issue responsibly," said Melody Barnes, the director of the president's Domestic Policy Council.
Well, yes — Obama promised he would lift this idiotic restriction, and he has made good on that promise. It's really a no-brainer — putting science back in the hands of the scientists — but we applaud it nonetheless. We talked in 2005 about how shitty this restriction was, and how it had no basis in actual science. All of those observations still stand.
And what's the opposition up to? The usual fucking dishonest, assheaded lies, of course. In fact, these tools can't even come up with any new material (which, of course, is the absolute hallmark of true science, right?). It's the same shit we heard back in 2005:
But Dorinda Bordlee of the Bioethics Defense Fund points out human embryo research has produced not one cure or treatment for diseases.
"Actually what President Obama is now doing is taking the very extreme and ineffective track of using our tax dollars to pay for obsolete research that destroys human embryos," she says.
Bordlee stresses that research on adult stem cells, which are readily available and do not involve the killing of a tiny human being, has already produced success in treatment of more than 70 diseases and conditions.
David Christensen of the Family Research Council (FRC) offers these comments regarding research on adult stem cells that do not involve killing a human embryo, and the success of those treatments.
"Even in the last week [there have been] three new studies using this very new type of technique to create what they call induced pluripotent stem cells -- which creates a stem cell that's very much like an embryonic stem cell but without destroying embryos," he explains.
As for the successes in medical treatments with embryonic stem cells? "The research hasn't treated any patients," says the FRC spokesman.
And Dr. David Stevens of the Christian Medical Association explains that these continued breakthroughs in stem cell research prove that killing human embryos is not needed.
Funding, he says, should be poured into adult stem-cell research. "These cells have tremendous advantage -- they're readily available, they are easy to reprogram, there's an unlimited supply, they don't form tumors, they're not expensive...and the list just goes on and on."
Wow, that's quite a list of scientifically qualified, unbiased individuals! First we have an attorney from the, uh, Bioethics Defense Fund which, it turns out, is a legal group dedicated to eradicating abortion rights, embryonic stem cell research, and doctor assisted suicide. Then we have a spokesman from the odious Family Research Council, whose slogan is "Defending Faith, Family and Freedom." And based on their anti-gay, pro-theocracy agenda, that slogan accurately portrays the fact that their bullshit faith is meant to trump everyone else's family and freedom. Finally, a doctor from the Christian Medical Association, a group whose stated purpose is to "motivate, educate, and equip Christian physicians and dentists to glorify God...." (Jesus totally gets a shout out in the Hippocratic Oath, as we all know.) Clearly, the Christian Medical Association would never, ever allow their religious biases to overtake their medical opinions. Right?
Huh. You know, now that we take a step back, it turns out all three of these fuckheads are part of bible-thumping religious organizations, and they aren't research scientists at all! Odd, that. It isn't possible that they have an agenda to advance, is it? Or that they would fucking lie to advance that agenda? Nah, perish the thought.
We like the bit about the promise of adult stem cells from the Family Research Council dipshit; he says that they are "very much like" embryonic stem cells. Oh, thanks — so they're "very much like" embryonic stem cells? Clearly, "close enough" will work out just fine in this field of study. Thanks, David Christensen! You know what's also fascinating? To someone who isn't an expert, O'Douls can seem "very much like" real beer. But at the end of the night, one will leave you with a pleasant buzz, and the other will only leave you with a shitty aftertaste. The bottom line, as any competent and honest person will tell you, is that we don't know all the differences between adult and embryonic stem cells, or where those differences will take us in our research. That's why it's important to do the research on both types of stem cells, and not just one. You stupid, dishonest fuck.
And how about that Bioethics Defense Fund flunky joining the same FRC cocksucker in pointing out that there haven't been any successful treatments based on embryonic stem cell research? Wow, that's a little bit like viciously hacking off your boyfriend's hands, tongue, and penis, and then complaining that he sucks in bed. Of course he does, jackass — you've rendered him impotent! You can't rest your opposition to embryonic stem cell research on the fact that it's been stagnant for the last eight years, when the ban that you backed has been directly responsible for this lack of results! Fuck you, you lying, ignorant sycophants.
Finally, amidst all the hand-wringing and ass-puckering from the religious fucks, we once again fail to see any mention whatsoever about those embryos that are slated for destruction — the leftovers from in vitro treatments, which can and will be used to populate new stem cell lines. This oversight is nothing short of willful misrepresentation of reality. As we said back in 2005, we can understand why some people oppose the creation of new human embryos for the sole purpose of scientific research. We don't agree with them, but we can understand their position. On the other hand, opposing the use of already created embryos, currently destined for the trash anyway, is just willful ignorance.
Now that this idiotic ban has been set aside, ethical standards can and will be written and enforced. That's how responsible scientific research is conducted, you fucks — let us get the fucking work done, and the people who understand it can keep it above board. If you're really concerned about how embryonic stem cell research is conducted, then ignore the ramblings of asshats like those we quoted above, and get involved in the discussion over how to best engage in this research, rather than whether or not we should. (Possibility of vastly improving the lives of living human beings versus a handful of fucking cells that will not be developing into a human child anyway? No contest!) If you're too blinded by Jesus Love to do that, then step the fuck aside and let the rest of us get on with the business of advancing humanity. Don't worry — you can still benefit from the phenomenal results, you little fuckers. Just like you always do.
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[ Filed under: % Bush Watch % Government & Politics % Religion % Science & Technology ]
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