2% The Two Percent Company
[ - ]
| Large Type Edition |
[ - ]
[ - ]
| Navigate the Rants


Special Collections
[ - ]
[ - ]
Subscribe to the
2%Co Rants:

Syndicate this site:
RSS 1.0
RSS 2.0
[ - ]
[ - ]
| The Usual Suspects
On Hiatus
Carnival of the Godless
Skeptics' Circle
Tangled Bank

Gone But Not Forgotten
Lost to the Mists of Time
[ - ]
[ - ]
| Archives (Weekly)
% 2016.11.06 » 2016.11.12
% 2009.04.05 » 2009.04.11
% 2009.03.15 » 2009.03.21
% 2009.03.08 » 2009.03.14
% 2009.03.01 » 2009.03.07
% 2009.02.15 » 2009.02.21
% 2009.01.25 » 2009.01.31
% 2009.01.18 » 2009.01.24
% 2009.01.04 » 2009.01.10
% 2008.12.21 » 2008.12.27
% 2008.11.16 » 2008.11.22
% 2008.11.09 » 2008.11.15

Archives (Monthly)
% 2016 November
% 2009 April
% 2009 March
% 2009 February
% 2009 January
% 2008 December
% 2008 November
% 2008 October
% 2008 September
% 2008 July
% 2008 June
% 2008 April
% 2008 January
% 2007 November
% 2007 October
% 2007 August
% 2007 July
% 2007 June
% 2007 May
% 2007 April
% 2007 March
% 2007 February
% 2007 January
% 2006 December
% 2006 November
% 2006 October
% 2006 September
% 2006 August
% 2006 July
% 2006 June
% 2006 May
% 2006 April
% 2006 March
% 2006 February
% 2006 January
% 2005 December
% 2005 November
% 2005 October
% 2005 September
% 2005 August
% 2005 July
% 2005 June
% 2005 May
% 2005 April
% 2005 March
% 2005 February
% 2005 January
% 2004 December
[ - ]
[ - ]
« A Brief Respite The RantsDuBois Revisited »

Quentin Tarantino's: Kill Hugo
2005.08.24 (Wed) 00:59

Good old Pat Robertson. Good old moralistic, oh-so-Christian, Jesus-lovin', God-praisin' Pat Robertson. What does he have to say about anti-American Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez?

"You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war... We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."

— Pat Robertson, 8/22/05

In other words, Turn-the-other-cheek-and-an-eye-for-an-eye Pat Robertson (who would see no contradiction in this description) is calling for the assassination of another nation's head of state.

Is it just us, or does it look like Christian extremism is moving in on Muslim extremism's racket? Pat "Let's pray for a death in the Supreme Court" Robertson's statement is the Christian equivalent of a fatwa, folks — particularly given the influence he wields over so many Christian fundamentalists. We can just see some backwoods fundamentalists grabbing their shotguns, saluting The 700 Club, and headin' down to Venezuela for some old fashioned shoot-em-up action.

So much for peaceful Christian hope and love, huh, Pat?

What does the Venezuelan government have to say about all this?

Vice President Jose Vicente Rangel said Venezuela was studying its legal options, adding that how Washington responds to Robertson's comments would put its anti-terrorism policy to the test.

"The ball is in the U.S. court, after this criminal statement by a citizen of that country," Rangel told reporters. "It's huge hypocrisy to maintain this discourse against terrorism and at the same time, in the heart of that country, there are entirely terrorist statements like those."

Wait a minute, Rangel — you want BushCo to call a statement of Christian extremism a "terrorist threat"? That's just plain silly! Christians would never advocate the slaughter of non-Christians, the torture of disobedient Christians, or the execution of those (like single or independent women) who don't adhere to strict Christian values...would they? No, never. Not Christians.

Buddhist Terrorist!This is just another example of why we don't differentiate between religions. Are there good, peaceful Christians who would never think of harming another human being? Sure — there are also millions of Muslims who would never think of harming another human being. Subjective validation being what it is, mainstream Western civilization seldom hears about those Muslims, simply because they don't make the news quite as often. All religions have the capacity to inspire good or evil acts in their adherents — it's always a question of which side your personal scales fall down on. For us, religion has caused so much pain, so many problems, and such a stranglehold on progress that we simply can't excuse it as a "harmless and comforting" mass delusion.

Just wait. Eventually, we'll have extremists in every religion, and then maybe more people will start waking up to the fact that it's an outdated concept. We're just wondering — what would a Buddhist extremist look like?

— • —
[  Filed under: % Government & Politics  % Religion  % Two Percent Toons  ]

Comments (33)

I Am, 2005.08.24 (Wed) 02:05 [Link] »

It would look like this.

S.T.R., 2005.08.24 (Wed) 13:50 [Link] »

I think pat robertson has been playing too many video games.

Grendel, 2005.08.24 (Wed) 14:00 [Link] »

Pat, Pat, Pat......

Given Pat Robertson's 'skills' as an ambassador for Christianity, I think it might be wise for Jesus to put a contract out on him.

Rockstar, 2005.08.24 (Wed) 14:08 [Link] »

Shit, you think that's bad. Check out what he's saying now.

Apparently we misunderstood him.

...if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it...

Translation: The US should kidnap him.

How silly of us to misunderstand your word of God...asshead...

Rockstar, 2005.08.24 (Wed) 14:10 [Link] »

Umm, forgot to close the tag...


Jeff from the Two Percent Company, 2005.08.24 (Wed) 14:45 [Link] »

I Am — yep, that'd be what it looks like. Beautiful post, and I totally agree with the title.

S.T.R. — yeah, I've heard Postal 2 is really popular over at The 700 Club. Next, Pat will be calling for good Christians to urinate on Hugo Chavez's decapitated, flaming body.

Gren — it always comes back to the same question, doesn't it? "Who would Jesus kill?"

Rockstar — lovely. As usual, frightening extremists blame their mistakes on a "misinterpretation" of their intentions. Sigh. I think your definition was a few point sizes too small.

Grendel, 2005.08.24 (Wed) 15:20 [Link] »

Not that I would ever defend a Pat Robertson, but the old "I was misinterpreted" excuse is hardly exclusive to religious extremists. It is a staple excuse among all public figures.

I was channel surfing last night and stopped on some talking head named Lou Dobbs (CNN, I think). He was talking about Robertson's call for jihad with Jesse Jackson and some other talking head religious right guy who was spinning Robertson's insane comments for him. His excuse was that we have to understand that there's a religious Pat Robertson who speaks on religious matters, and there's a political Pat Robertson who speaks on political issues, and that everyone is getting needlessly excitedly for having confused the two.

I could scarcely believe my ears.

I waited for Jesse to jump on this inadvertent worsening of what Robertson had said, but he didn't. If the apologist is to be believed, it means that Pat Robertson's politics are as nuts as his religiosity, and the talking head for Jesus did Robertson no favors with that non-excuse.

Rockstar, 2005.08.24 (Wed) 15:55 [Link] »

So, which Pat is the murdering terrorist?

Grendel, 2005.08.24 (Wed) 17:11 [Link] »

Both, I guess. One murders based on a religious agenda, the other on political agenda.

Rockstar, 2005.08.24 (Wed) 17:53 [Link] »

New update. Now Pat says it's wrong to call for assassination, and he was speaking in anger.

jay denari, 2005.08.25 (Thu) 01:35 [Link] »

He was speaking in anger?!? What exactly did Chavez do to him or the US?

If some imam (or, for that matter, almost anyone else) said what Robertson said but inserted Bush's name instead of Chavez's, the FBI would be dragging his ass to Guantanamo right about now... even if they had to go to Uzbekistan to grab him.

That said, even Buddhists aren't immune to religiously-inspired killing. There HAVE been historical Buddhist regimes in Asia that waged war on their neighbors, as the first entry here notes.

Grendel, 2005.08.25 (Thu) 12:29 [Link] »

Buddhist priests are notorious for getting into inter-temple rumbles in the alley.

S.T.R., 2005.08.25 (Thu) 13:52 [Link] »

I have seen many 'documentaries', like "The Thai Chi Master" and "Once Upon a Time In China" were monks ran around beating all sorts of people up, and defying the laws of physics.

The Two Percent Company, 2005.08.25 (Thu) 15:37 [Link] »

Absolutely correct, Gren — the old "misinterpretation" excuse is used by just about anybody in the unfortunate (or fortunate?) position of having their every word and deed recorded and publicized.

Rockstar, thanks for keeping track of this story! Folks, make sure you check out Rockstar's blog, since he seems to update more often than we do.

And Jay, thanks for the link. It certainly confirms our suspicion that no matter what a particular religion preaches, its adherents are capable of the same terrible — or benevolent — acts that any other human being is capable of.

S.T.R. — silly monks. First they're disobeying the laws of man, then they're disobeying the laws of physics. Where will it end?

You guys suppose we would've been safer with a cartoon of a Wiccan extremist? Yes, yes, don't tell us — we're sure somebody can come up with an example of one of those, too!

S.T.R., 2005.08.25 (Thu) 16:32 [Link] »

I saw a documentary about some wizard in OZ, and there was the Evil Wiccan of the west in that.

AND I think there was an evil wiccan of the east too....

Grendel, 2005.08.25 (Thu) 17:37 [Link] »

Sure 'nuff, STR, I saw that doc too. They documented wiccans from all four cardinal points of the compass PLUS... apparently there are good wiccans and bad wiccans. Extrapolating further from the Oz documentary, apparently good wiccans cannot tell good nor bad wiccans just by looking and have to ask them, but whether bad wiccans can tell good or bad wiccans by looking cannot be determined from the data offered in the documentary. Good wiccans are HOT, BTW, while bad wiccans are..well, I'd hafta be pretty drunk. .

Another little known fact from the Oz doc: crab apple trees TALK.

Grendel, 2005.08.26 (Fri) 16:56 [Link] »

And monkeys FLY.

jay denari, 2005.08.29 (Mon) 18:50 [Link] »


Monkeys DO fly! Right outta my...

PS You can find cartoons of Wiccan extremists (or, rather, extremist cartoons about wiccans) in fundy Xian magazines every year around Oct. 31.

Grendel, 2005.08.30 (Tue) 09:06 [Link] »

I had a neighbor here in Jesus-intensive North Carolina who equated Wiccans with Satanism because of the phonetic similarity of 'wiccan' and 'wicked'. I considered explaining about meaningless coincidences of spelling, but thought, this lady believes in heaven, god, talking bushes, virgin births, faith healing, etc., so what have I that would penetrate that?

Rockstar, 2005.08.30 (Tue) 09:34 [Link] »

Use your "Spear of Critical Thinking + 15". That's what I always do...

Grendel, 2005.08.30 (Tue) 16:36 [Link] »

I've never met a 'Wiccan' who hadn't been some other fad religion 6 months' previous and 6 months later.

Jeff from the Two Percent Company, 2005.08.30 (Tue) 16:48 [Link] »

Rockstar...what if you've got a THIQ0 of 35?

And yeah, Gren, "Wiccan" appears to be one of those "flavors of the month" for those who are always looking for something to believe in. That's what you get when you resurrect millennia-old beliefs in artful fiction and reinterpret them through the lens of a "Lost Generation."

Grendel, 2005.08.30 (Tue) 19:08 [Link] »

It's hard to be cool, which is mostly what those Wiccans I've met seemed to be trying to accomplish.

bigsis, 2005.09.01 (Thu) 14:55 [Link] »

I HAVE met a number of Wiccans who have been Wiccan for many years. They are the ones who don't necessarily believe in faeries or go totally goth. They ARE, in general, people who respect and revere nature, and strive to live according the principle, "If it harms none, do what you will," which sounds awfully close to the position statement thingy of this very website.

Many young people seek
A) A way to express their individuality;
B) A sense of belonging (ironically, considering point A);
C) A way to rebel against "authority," whether that means parents, church, school, what-have-you.

Wicca, because it isn't mainstream, and because it is accepting of a wide (and I do mean wide) range of beliefs, naturally attracts these young people, along with a lot of kooks. But, just like other religious groups, Wicca has its extremists, too. Just not usually violent ones.

bigsis, 2005.09.01 (Thu) 14:58 [Link] »

That link that doesn't work points to http://www.twopercentco.com/page_faq.html#libertarians.

Tom from the Two Percent Company, 2005.09.01 (Thu) 15:46 [Link] »

Sure, the Wiccans score points with us for their "if it harms none, do what you will" approach, and also for their apparent lack of proselytizing (in general). However, they tend to fall down on the whole logic/reason thing. Wicca emcompasses a massively wide range of beliefs, but I've never seen one set of those beliefs that I would call logical or rational.

Of course, if there is a Wiccan out there who simply likes nature, hikes, and eats Grape Nuts while eschewing the whole fairies, gods, and "magic druidical" approach, I'd question whether or not that constitutes a religion.

Those links should work now, by the way.

bigsis, 2005.09.01 (Thu) 16:31 [Link] »

Well, nobody's perfect. I never said they were logical or rational, just non-violent. :-) The faerie bleevers (as Grendel might say) are no more or less rational than anyone who believes that a big guy with a beard lives in the sky. On the plus side, I've never seen a bumper sticker that says "WWFD?"

Please, let's not get started on the whole definition of religion -- I've already had this out with your esteemed colleague offline, and we've politely agreed to disagree. Maybe eating Grape-Nuts doesn't constitute a religious practice, but some pantheists I know might argue the point.

Oh, and thanks for fixing the link problem. I should think you'd love a link back to your own site. ;-)

Ian Gibson, 2005.09.01 (Thu) 19:32 [Link] »

I'm just waiting for Robertson to inform us all how New Orleans had it coming - all those debauched parties and people having fun. God was bound to step in at some point..

Grendel, 2005.09.01 (Thu) 21:27 [Link] »

I'm not sure how else I ought to feel about Wiccans. It's not like I've only encountered 2-3. I'm talking about a couple dozen (in the Ann Arbor MI and Chapel Hill NC areas), and every one so far transitory in religious beliefs and a considerable flake, to some degree or another, basically New Agers with a temporary new spiritual compass heading.

The idea of 'if it harms none, do what you will' is hardly a Wiccan idea. It's the golden rule, ubiquitous in one form or another to pretty much every religion, society, or culture.

Those I became acquainted with were very nice, just......well, goofy. I can only listen to the inane New Agey stuff but so long.

The Two Percent Company, 2005.09.02 (Fri) 18:29 [Link] »

bigsis — Oh, we agree that, in terms of rationality (or lack thereof), Wicca equals Christianity equals Judaism equals Hinduism equals ESP equals Crystal Healing equals Astrology equals UFO abductions, ad infinitum. We have no more or less respect for any of these belief systems than for the others. Of course, the practitioners of these systems can vary widely from benign to annoying to harmful, but the beliefs themselves are all irrational.

Ian — We haven't seen much news lately (Tom still has no phone, TV, or network access as a result of his move). Do you mean to say that Pat Robertson hasn't made a statement about the sinful city of New Orleans getting what it deserves yet? He's slipping. Someone let us know when he does, if we miss it.

Grendel, 2005.09.03 (Sat) 13:53 [Link] »

Pat is only allowed a certain amount of venomous verbiage per month and he shot his wad for this month on the call for assassination.

S.T.R, 2005.09.03 (Sat) 15:27 [Link] »

AH, but it is september now. New month = new wad.

Grendel, 2005.09.03 (Sat) 17:08 [Link] »

Well, maybe he's saving the September allotment for October's Halloween holiday when True Evil walks the earth (carrying little bags of candy).

— • —

[ - ]

Terms of Use — • — Privacy Policy — • — FAQ
[ - ]
| Protecting our Civil Liberties
EFF: Support Bloggers' Rights!

Bullshit Busters
JREFSkeptic's Dictionary

[ - ]
[ - ]
[ - ]
[ - ]
Buy 2%Co Products
2%Co Stores

Visit the 2%Co Wish List
[ - ]
[ - ]
[ - ]
[ - ]
[ - ]
[ - ]
| Where can you find 2%Co?

Site MeterGlobe of Blogs
Atheism OnlineThe Truth Laid Bear

2%Co Search Rankings

Link to our Rants
2%Co Rants

Link to our Allison DuBois: Debunked! collection
Allison DuBois: Debunked! (2%Co)

The 2%Co Rants powered by
[ - ]