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2005.08.31 (Wed) 16:53
Well, it has been almost six months since we posted our original Allison DuBois Week Rants, and wouldn't you know: Allison is still out there promoting her bullshit "powers."
Checking over our web stats, we noticed a good amount of new traffic on the ADW posts coming from a site we hadn't visited before. It seems that Allison was on the radio this week, waxing philosophic about all the suckers she's fleeced — er, we mean the souls she's touched. In that icky, strange uncle, "bad touch" way. You can download or listen to the whole show on radio host Rachael Kohn's website (or listen to the mp3 we've stored locally). Notice that, on Rachael Kohn's site, the Two Percent Company's Allison DuBois Week is listed as the skeptical "authority" on Allison! Sorry, just a little shameless self-promotion — Allison brings that out in us.
The portion of the interview we're most interested in comes in at about 32:35 on the mp3 — in which Allison starts talking about those who are skeptical of her powers, or more accurately, skeptics in general. We've already discussed the Mighty Allison's feelings about skeptics — she doesn't like them because they tend to question her claims. And who can blame her, really?
Anyway, quoth Allison in her radio interview:
They can be pretty hostile. I think that speaks volumes — their level of hostility.
Yes, it does. We dislike you, Allison, in the same way that we dislike con artists, used car salesmen, and spammers who steal people's credit card numbers. Our hostility, Allison, bespeaks our justified outrage at such dishonesty and avarice. If being hostile toward such people is wrong, then we don't want to be right.
And, um, they need to get their blood pressure checked. [laughter]
Hey, thanks. Tom just got his checked — it was 120 over 78. In fact, none of the members of the Two Percent Company have high blood pressure, or any history of high blood pressure, and none of us are suffering from stress or anxiety due to the bumbling antics of psychics. So, if this was meant to be a prediction, you are, as usual, incorrect. [laughter]
Um, but, yes, we do deal with that. But with anything in life, you're gonna have some angry people that focus their energies in the wrong place, that have a chip on their shoulder.
Ah, but you see, Allison, we don't give a flying donkey fuck about you and the other self-proclaimed "psychics" on the market today. If you kept to yourselves and didn't try to sell your bullshit to others, we'd have no problem letting you live your silly little lives. However, so many "psychics" seem to be obsessed with validating themselves through television, "assisting" with criminal investigations, or other means; and you, Allison, are the current queen of the "psychic" media sluts. Thus, you have attracted our attention. Don't worry — once your short-lived stint on television is over and people forget who you are, we won't care about you anymore either. But until then, we feel an obligation to put your bullshit claims to the test.
Yeah, we know, you don't care that we showed your claims to be utter nonsense, and you don't care what the skeptics say about you. Luckily, though, you aren't our intended audience, and there are those who do care more about the truth than about validating your overinflated ego.
So, I kind of, uh, call it like I see it with them, and they make no difference in who I am — I mean, I will be a medium when they are gone, and when I am gone I will still have done what I do.
Wait...are you suggesting that you will outlive us? We'll chalk that up as another prediction, and keep you posted. And yes, much like a sidewalk huckster who makes a living shuffling a three card monty for the tourists, when you are gone, you will still have done what you did with your life. We hope that someday you are ashamed by that. At least the huckster had to practice.
And skeptics that do it professionally help nobody in their lifetime, and I look at it that way. How many people have they really helped to have a better life, or to feel better? And I think not many, if any at all. And I have thousands, and I know many other mediums that do as well, and we've made a difference in people's lives that skeptics can't take away. And they can try and dismiss it, but we'll still exist, ...
Hold the phone, sister. Once again, we find ourselves in the position of explaining why one of your statements is utter nonsense. Skeptics haven't helped anyone to have a better life or to feel better? We're not sure that you could be more wrong than you are right there, even if you tried really hard.
See, people like you seem to view "skepticism" as a dirty word. However, that simply isn't true. So let's clarify — skepticism involves applying critical thinking to situations and demanding evidence for claims. To you, we're sure such skeptical behavior is a dirty word since it wouldn't allow you to do what you do. But for us non-hucksters, skepticism is absolutely critical to the practice of science and to the understanding of the world. There is a huge difference between "skepticism" and "cynicism," though people like you tend to lump them together.
Now let's go through a list of just a few things that people of science — not all necessarily "scientists," but certainly people who used the scientific method, which requires a healthy dose of skepticism — contributed to the world. Heck, let's do it alphabetically, just for kicks: aeronautics, bionics, computers, differential calculus, electricity, first aid, genetic engineering, hygiene, internal combustion engines, jelly and jam, kinescopes, lasers, musical instruments, nanotechnology, On the Origin of Species, penicillin, quantum physics, refrigeration, submarines, telecommunications, ultrasonics, vacuum cleaners, water purification, X-rays, yogurt, and zero-point energy.
Gee, Allison...how exactly have you helped the world — in comparison to even the most minor entries in the above list?
Oh, that's right: you filled up people's heads with false memories of their dead friends and relatives in exchange for money, and you made yourself famous in the process. In contrast to, for example, Wilhelm Roentgen, who asked for no patents and refused the honor of X-rays or X-ray equipment being named after him. Clearly, you win.
... 'cause I believe it's genetic and a medium's probably born every day, so...kind of a futile fight.
Well, Allison, you may have a point when you say it's a futile fight trying to overcome the credulity that seems to sweep across the globe these days. Sometimes it really feels that way to us, as well. However, we disagree on the source of that feeling of futility. It isn't because a medium is born every day, as you suggest, but rather because a sucker is born every minute, as P.T. Barnum suggested so many years ago. That makes the job of critical thinkers very difficult indeed, but that doesn't mean that it isn't a fight worth fighting.
So, Allison: you keep counting on the suckers, and we'll keep trying to inform those who actually want to educate themselves about what a clown you really are.
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[ Filed under: % Allison DuBois Week % Bullshit ]
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