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« Happy Fourth of July The RantsSkeptics' Circle #12 »

Is it Safe...?
2005.07.08 (Fri) 11:45

The Two Percent Company would like to extend our apologies to our regular readers for our somewhat, ah, light Ranting as of late. In case you aren't a subscriber, and have been wondering where the heck we've been: it's been a trying time the past week or so, as every fucking loon within spitting distance of our IP address has descended upon our site with the tenacity of a pit bull and the coherent debating style of...well, a pit bull.

Seriously, it's been a freak show around here — and for some reason (thanks a bunch, Google!), much of it is happening in our old Rants, which leaves those who just tune in for a daily fix with no clue as to what's going on. For those people in particular, here's a quick rundown, which reads frighteningly like a carnival barker's spiel:

Gasp in sheer, uncomprehending terror at the Amazing Anton, juggling three — no, five — no, a dozen arguments from authority, all while pushing goalposts back yards in the blink of an eye!

Thunderously applaud the Miraculous Miraclist, who moves so fast she can offer a psychic prediction on the Natalee Holloway case and then retract it before anyone can even respond! Applaud even more thunderously as the Two Percenters disassemble her "predictions" to expose them for the bullshit they really are!

Marvel at Chorizo Charli (hey, these alliterations are tough to come up with), the EVP enthusiast who hears voices in her coffee maker! And gets awfully defensive at the drop of a hat! Which is funny, you see, since her position is entirely indefensible!

Thrill to the Agonizing Art, who does his best to be brief, and manages to mangle a common argumentative phrase not once, not twice, but three times in his "brief" diatribe! And, agonizingly, he manages to steer entirely clear of making a valid point the whole time!

Gargle with envy before the ironically named Big Penis, whose moniker more aptly describes his ability to present an interesting comment than his actual genital endowment!

And Mentally masturbate furiously (hey, these are hard to come up with, too) along with Smiling Smore, who smiles so prettily because she is blissfully unaware of how science works!

Yes, even though we haven't been Ranting, we've been busy! Does it matter that all these nutcases spout off in our comments? Not really. But what bothers us is when their completely invalid points and grievously flawed logic are the last things a reader sees in a thread. Sorry, we can't let that stand. Sure, we know it's bullshit, and many of our readers know it's bullshit, but the "fence sitters" — some of the people we are most trying to reach with the information introduced throughout our site — could easily take our silence as an indicator of validation for one of these nutcases. And if we don't reply fully, we often get tagged back with some "You didn't counter this one argument, so you agree with it" nonsense. So, while we apologize for being too busy to Rant, please know: it was with good reason! We're continuing our fight against bullshit!

We'd also like to offer a huge "thank you" to those readers who pitched in and refuted the nutcases and their brazenly stupid ideas. Another of our goals, of course, is to find like-minded individuals out there in cyberland, so we can both support and be supported by those who get it. We're happy to say, a bunch of you did a fantastic job helping us out. Thanks!

The fervor seems to have died down now (keep those fingers crossed), so we'll hopefully be getting a few Rants up in the coming week. We've got a bunch in the works, including a piece on the Supreme Court's "Ten Commandments monuments" decisions, a discussion of the intellectual property rights of those who refuse to produce said property, a take-down of the tree-huggers' protestation of logging, and even a few Rants of a more philosophical bent.

We'll keep 'em coming. Thanks for reading, folks.


— • —
[  Filed under: % Bullshit  % Two Percent Company  ]

Comments (4)

The Retropolitan, 2005.07.08 (Fri) 12:49 [Link] »

Anxiously awaiting the next rant...



s.t.r., 2005.07.08 (Fri) 17:31 [Link] »

My sides lay in wait for a good splitting.



Grendel, 2005.07.08 (Fri) 22:55 [Link] »

Where's my check?



el_chronic, 2005.07.11 (Mon) 23:35 [Link] »

As a habitual SUV vandalizer and G8 summit meeting molotov thrower, I object to logging as much as the next fellow, so I cant wait for your logging rant.

*** Note the above was said my my RPG character AngryWhiteHippy and does not represent the views of el_chronic, who is otherwise a pretty chillaxed hispanic dude. I was in character.




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