Vote. Do it. If you're eligible to vote, there's no reason not to.

It's no big mystery who we'll be voting for. Anyone who reads four paragraphs on our site could take a wild guess and hit the mark. Barack Obama appears to be sane, honest, dignified, intelligent, and willing to put aside bullshit and partisan politics in order to get the fucking job done as president.

We said "appears" to be. We meant it. Does that mean he is all of those things? More importantly, does that mean he will get his fucking job done? No, it doesn't. We can't see the future any more than Sylvia Browne can. All we can do is move forward based on the overwhelming evidence. The overwhelming evidence says that Obama isn't going to fuck over everybody in this country.

Similarly, the overwhelming evidence suggests that McCain is a dishonest, megalomaniacal, deluded fuck who has no intention of doing anything with integrity, fairness, generosity, or anything even remotely resembling the truth.

We seriously considered the man in 2000 — if he'd made it through the primaries, it was a strong possibility we'd have voted for him. In a way, Dubya was instrumental in making sure that this little fucking batshit insane asshole wasn't elected by us. We're not sure if eight years of Classic McCain would have been worse or better than eight years of the Idiot Cowboy, but we're damn sure that even a mere four years of McCain Version 2.0 after eight years of the Idiot Cowboy would be a fucking disaster.

We're not telling you who to vote for. But we will feel free to say this. If you:

• ...are making less than $250K per year;
• ...are not, in fact, among the richest people in the country;
• ...would like to stop spending massive amounts of money on a useless war in Iraq, especially when our own economy is in the shitter;
• ...favor an approach to foreign policy that doesn't entail labeling countries as "good" and "evil," that recognizes the value of international cooperation, and that tries to avoid any more unnecessary wars;
• ...want government decisions to be based on reality rather than ideology;
• ...would like our children to be educated with solid science, and free from the bullshit indoctrination or control of religions that have long outlived their usefulness (whether or not you believe in the basic tales and tenets of those religions themselves);
• ...would prefer to have the next few Supreme Court vacancies filled by justices who are concerned about civil liberties;
• ...believe that a decision about whether or not to abort a pregnancy is a decision to be made by a woman with advice from her doctor, and not by politicians;
• ...and don't like lying, cheating, dirty fucks in general

...then a vote for McCain is a vote against your own interests.

Which isn't to say that each of us voting purely in our own interests is the answer in the first place, but at least that's slightly more understandable than the multitude of people who vote along arbitrary, shallow, and largely imaginary borderlines. We are so sick and fucking tired of people voting along party lines, or voting purely based on socio-economic standing (just because you're "middle upper class" doesn't mean the Republicans are your friends, folks — just as a random Democrat isn't automatically a Shining Magical Defender of the Projects), or voting for the person they'd most like to have over for cheap domestic beer and pork rinds (could we please remember that the leader of a fucking nation should be an exceptional person, rather than the guy down the street who does a decent job on his Christmas decorations?), or voting based on incredibly shortsighted spite (Hillary supporters now voting for McCain — we're talking about you, assholes), or whatever fucking bullshit they think "defines" their place in this country.

We are people. Period. We don't even like many of our fellow country-mates; plenty of them are free to just get lost, as far as we're concerned. But that doesn't mean that we are ever going to vote against the interests of civil liberties, safety, and comfort for all of them. Because when you vote for the freedom of others, you're voting for your own freedom, too. So if you have a fucking brain in your head, you vote for the good of all of us — not merely for yourself, and not merely for your own "special interest group" (or groups).

For fuck's sake, there are still people in the Twenty-First Century voting purely based on "who's gonna raise my taxes?" Hey, people — we have a government, and that government needs to be paid to do its job. Taxes are, quite literally, a small price to pay to make sure that our civil liberties, privacy, safety, and comfort are protected. Exhorbitant taxes are one thing — but fuck, how do you think you get out of a national economic crisis and a massive international debt without some taxes being collected? Our economy runs in cycles, with dips exacerbated by dipshits who don't understand it and are inexplicably put in charge (and you want self-admitted economically uneducated McCain in office?). To get the country out of the hole, that money has to come from somewhere. If you're so concerned about your money in the long term, then bite the fucking bullet in the short term, pay the fucking taxes we'll need to pay, and get our goddamn country back on track. "No new taxes" is not only the most dishonest thing any (and almost every) politican says, it's also simply fucking idiotic as sound fiscal policy.

And if you do support Obama, then please don't stay home because the election is "in the bag." We've been around the block enough times to know that this election is far from over, and we wouldn't discount the possibility that either outright racism or GOP voter fraud could swing the outcome enough so that every fucking vote for Obama is vitally important.

So vote. For whomever you want. But keep in mind: when you vote for president...you are voting for all of us, including yourself. Don't fuck us over — because we're trying our hardest not to fuck you over.

We're not sure if eight years of Classic McCain would have been worse or better than eight years of the Idiot Cowboy...

Don't take this the wrong way, Two Percenters, but even Blind Freddy will tell you that a Britney Spears/Paris Hilton ticket would have been better than The Worst President Ever ® .

I live in fear that the US will elect McCain and Palin. Please don't. The rest of the world will thank you.

Dikkii:

I live in fear that the US will elect McCain and Palin. Please don't. The rest of the world will thank you.

I did my part. But I live in Texas, so my vote for anyone other than a rabid neocon doesn't count.

Knew I could count on you, BD, although, you know, it's not wasted if others in Texas do likewise.

All good thanks.

You're welcome, Dikkii, and very much happy to oblige. I feel like I can breathe again. First time since we invaded Iraq I've felt proud to be an American.

I can tell you that we are all quite relieved on this side of the pond with the result. The thoughts, particularly of Palin being so close to power was a tad distressing to say the least. Hopefully there will be some improvement over the coming years.