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« Don't Bogart the Constitution, Dude The RantsDairy Vending Machines in the Muslim Workplace »

The Eyes Have It Very, Very Rarely
2007.07.17 (Tue) 23:08

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day provides an excellent example of how fallible human perceptions can be. Here's a hint: if you squint your eyes a lot as you stare at the image on the screen, it'll become very obvious that A and B are the same color. (Don't worry, that's not a spoiler...unless you're the kind of person who can't already tell what the last Dilbert panel will say after reading the first two.)

It continues to amaze us that people can look at a grilled cheese sandwich, a cinammon bun, or a water stain on the wall of an underpass and insist that what they "see" in any particular pattern (random or not) actually "means" what they interpret it to mean. What's even funnier, to us, is that Joe Random or Juanita Azar really thinks it makes any sense whatsoever that their almighty Lord 'n' Savior — or his mom, or some cruel saint — would appear in such an absurdly and often pathetically mundane way, not relay any sort of message or instructions, and be so hard to pick out for the vast majority of other viewers.

Oh. Did we actually try to put sense and religion together? Sorry, our bad.

At any rate, we finally understand the hullabaloo. We really get why these folks get so excited to see a vague Jesusoid shape or a Crusty Mary that leaps out and reaffirms their belief in the order, unity, and harmony of the universe (as revealed in a baked good) — for, you see, we ourselves have suddenly had a profound experience. It happened mere days ago, on the subway, when Jeff had to cut up some paper (some clients are just purely incapable of abstract visualization, and need an exact visual representation — sheesh). Taking the scraps and squeezing them in his fist so he could deposit them in the trash at the next stop, Jeff was amazed when he opened his hand and saw...there...in all its glory...

He lives! And rides the MTA!

That's right, it's the Flying Spaghetti Monster! Sure, a few noodly appendages are missing, but it's as clear as day. What, you don't see it? How sad for you that you feel the need to deny something so obvious.

We never really got into the Pastafarian craze, but this — by religioso logic — is incontrovertible proof of His Noodliness' existence, and his desire to communicate with us! As near as we can figure it, he wanted us to head to Peter Luger's that night, buy a tremendous meal of several steaks each, and then Hunter Thompson our way across the country in a vodka penne induced stupor (pasta isn't for eating, you see, it's for transcedence).

But instead, Jeff tossed the Great One at Penn Station and had sushi for dinner that night. Fucking infidel.


— • —
[  Filed under: % Bullshit  ]

Comments (8)

Agent X, 2007.07.18 (Wed) 03:13 [Link] »

I went to the toilet once and thought I saw an image of Jesus, but upon closer inspection it just turned out to be crap.



۞, 2007.07.18 (Wed) 07:40 [Link] »

If only you looked in to your heart you would see that you had been touched by his noodly appendage!
RAmen.



darthcynic, 2007.07.18 (Wed) 08:31 [Link] »

I CAN SEE THE VIRGIN MARY!!!!!

Bless her gentle heart and merciful..... somesuch

If you angle your head to the right, you can clearly see a robed head, the virgin, mmmhmmmm.

Now get it back and up on ebay for a handsome reward which is in no way a cheap cash in on this miraculous event.



TimmyAnn, 2007.07.18 (Wed) 12:13 [Link] »

It is the Flying Spaghetti Monster!! I recognized Him even before I read that part! Pastafarians unite! He demands that we don our pirate regalia!



Arren Frank, 2007.07.18 (Wed) 23:09 [Link] »
Pareidolia winds up..... the pitch: hanging curveball over the plate; Twoperco swings, connects - it's a bloop into the shallow outfield.
Not the greatest hit you've ever seen, Bob, but it'll get the job done.


Honjii, 2007.07.21 (Sat) 19:33 [Link] »

You should put it on ebay. I hear sandwiches and tortillas with the image of Christ or the Virgin Mary bring a pretty penny. No telling how high the bidding for this little treasure could go. Possibly in the tens of dollars.



Fanman, 2007.07.23 (Mon) 14:59 [Link] »

I see the Wizard of Id making an angry face.

The top of the ball of paper makes a triangular shape which creates the frowning brow. Shadows on either side depict the beady little eyes and the nose takes shape right in the center of the mass with an unhappy mouth shape with a goatee type beard below it....

The Wiz is back to remind us that the king is indeed a fink.



YSUBassoon, 2007.07.24 (Tue) 20:35 [Link] »

[link]

My brother got me a Holy Toast Stamp for my birthday this year. It lets you imprint a picture of the Virgin Mary onto your bread. There is a small sense of joy when you smash her face in with the butter and jam. (And then you get to eat her, and for a lesbian in a small, primarily Catholic town, there's nothing better.)

If you follow the link, you can get one of your own.




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