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Pat Robertson's Plane Goes Down...Pat's Not On It
2006.06.03 (Sat) 23:29
If there's a more apt metaphor for a televangelist sucking the life out of the innocent dupes he fleeces, we're not sure what it is. As reported on MSNBC:
A Learjet registered to religious broadcaster Pat Robertson crashed in Long Island Sound while flying in heavy fog Friday, killing both pilots, authorities said. All three passengers escaped without serious injury.
Robertson was not aboard. "I am deeply grieved and my heart reaches out to the families and to the people on the plane," he said in a statement.
Wait...what, no amazing revelation that Gawd must have been looking out for those three survivors? Maybe Pat has finally figured out that such a statement would imply that his Almighty Prick had it in for the two pilots. (We're referring, of course, to his deity, not his penis. Though wouldn't it be awfully telling if Pat did refer to his penis as his "Almighty Prick"?) Wait, wait, wait — what were we thinking? Pat doesn't learn any lessons. Ever. Sorry, our bad.
And by the way, to those folks who are constantly sending Pat their hard-earned and desperately needed money: the man owns a Learjet. He doesn't need your money nearly as much as you do. If you want, just cut out the middleman, get together, and pool your money to buy your own jet to rent out to celebrities. Bonus: you get the rental fees, too, just like that moneygrubbing fuck, Pat Robertson himself!
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[ Filed under: % Religion ]
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