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« On Skepticism: A Reply to Francois The RantsMajikthise on Fox News Radio »

Science Fair: Now With 90% Less Science!
2006.02.23 (Thu) 14:36

PZ Myers has a post up regarding the Twin Cities Creation Science Association's Annual Science Fair. PZ's got some very smart observations of his own, and presents some of the material from the science fair rules, along with his own comments. Some of this stuff is hysterical, like:

12. Trilobites prove Noah's flood because they are curled up or not?

Um, wait. We can't tell if this is asking "Do trilobites prove Noah's flood because they are curled up or do trilobites prove Noah's flood because they are not curled up?" or if it's asking "Do trilobites prove Noah's flood because they are curled up or do trilobites not prove Noah's flood because they are curled up?" We have a pretty good guess as to which one they're getting at, though. Then there's a great representative of the keen spelling skills of the Christian home-schooled:

92. Why do some animals lay eggs and others bare babies alive? Why did God do it this way?

As Theo Bromine pointed out on the Pharyngula thread, this seems to imply that some animals produce fully clothed offspring. If you don't get it, read it again. If you still don't get it, learn to differentiate between homonyms. (If you don't know what a homonym is, just leave. Now. Seriously, go away.)

There's also our personal favorite:

95. Are humans mammals? We thought they were made in God's image and not related to animals.

Remember, folks, these are supposed to be suggestions for science fair projects. Nothing like feeding the kids your predetermined conclusion before they've even conducted any research or experiment. But hey, that's what Creation Science is all about, right?

You can also check out a bunch of pictures snapped at the science fair. Personally, we were a little confused by this one:


Er...maybe we're just not "with it" when it comes to Creation Science. But what exactly does a dildo have to do with a kids' science fair project? Of course, in our defense, it sure looks like these kids are wondering exactly the same thing.

— • —
[  Filed under: % Creationism  % Religion  ]

Comments (13)

dikkii, 2006.02.23 (Thu) 17:41 [Link] »

Methinks they'd do better with a Spelling Bee or a Grammar Rodeo than a Science Fair.

Even then, they'd probably attempt to re-define those!

The Two Percent Company, 2006.02.23 (Thu) 22:26 [Link] »

Having read their incredibly poorly written list of project ideas, we'd guess that even spelling "bee" or lassoing a dangling participle would be far beyond these people's capabilities. Perhaps a Pie-Eating Contest would be more their speed.

Jesse, 2006.02.24 (Fri) 13:25 [Link] »

Dude, that kid in the last picture is just looking at the illusionary hole in his hand. I am sure he is attempting to compare the illusion of a hole to the illusion of evolution or something. Seems like rock solid science to me.


Michael Bains, 2006.02.24 (Fri) 14:58 [Link] »

I bet they're all quite well-qualified for .. well, um, .. a GED?


Oh yah,

(If you don't know what a homonym is, just leave. Now. Seriously, go away.)

That kinda comment always busts me up laughin'. Thanks!

interupt, 2006.02.25 (Sat) 08:44 [Link] »

Considering I have kids nearly at this age, it is scary to think what the science class of the future is going to be.

homonym? a Gay Nymphomaniac?


jay denari, 2006.02.25 (Sat) 14:28 [Link] »

My favorite was this one:

53. Were all the animals friendly to man before the Flood? Idea: raise several baby animals like snake and mouse together to see if they remain friends as they are older.

Umm... what does the friendship of mice and snakes have to do with either's friendship toward man? How do you determine whether mice and snakes HAVE friends?

54. Why do they live longer before the Flood?

Umm... maybe because they haven't yet inhaled lots of water and drowned.
"They"? What... mice and snakes?

55. Why do only mammals have hair?

Uh-oh... an EVOLUTION question! What's that doing here?

56. Why do plants and insects die in the Fall?

In Creationist circles, isn't the capitalized Fall reserved for sinners? Those evil, sinful, god-hating dandelions!!!

Just a few observations that jumped out at me...

Tom from the Two Percent Company, 2006.02.25 (Sat) 23:54 [Link] »

When I first read these science fair questions, I thought that they were meant to be a parody of "stupid creationists." Not only are the concepts obviously flawed, the grammar and spelling are terrible as well. Really, no one can be that dense, right? Wrong.

Some of my favorites:

62. Why do plants give us oxygen?

Because they're very nice. Also, if they didn't give it to us, George Bush would invade them and take it anyway.

72. What is God made of?

Most experts agree that he's made of rich, rich nougat, with a thin coating of dark chocolate. Mmmmm.

80. Why did God make pests like bugs and mosquitoes?

...and creationists?

83. Why do people believe in Evolution?
84. What events caused them to become evolutionists?

Um, that event would be "evolution."

101.If there were aliens, why would they visit humans?

If they read about this science fair, they probably wouldn't.

Thanks to Jesse for answering the dildo question. Now that I know he's using the dildo to look through his imaginary hand-hole, it all makes perfect scientific sense.

Also, apologies to interupt for the moderation — it turns out that 99% of comments that contain the word "nymphomaniac" are spam, so it's made its way onto our filter list. You may also want to avoid "shemale," "cumfiesta," and anything at all about mortgages.

Jeff from the Two Percent Company, 2006.02.26 (Sun) 00:05 [Link] »
...he's made of rich, rich nougat with a thin coating of dark chocolate. Mmmmm.

Ah, so this is how religious schisms begin. I reject Tom's dark chocolate god. There is no god but milk chocolate god! Or semi-sweet. Semi-sweet's okay. Or, hell, I guess dark chocolate's okay if you've got nougat, 'cause really, c'mon, it's nougat. So I guess I don't need to start a new sect of the Two Percent Company after all. Which is all well and good, since I'm not sure to what door I would've had to nail my proclamation.

PB27, 2006.02.27 (Mon) 17:05 [Link] »

Luckily, Jeff, the science fair already took care of exhibiting the 95 Feces.

OK--bad pun. I couldn't resist.

Jeff from the Two Percent Company, 2006.02.27 (Mon) 17:09 [Link] »

Man, that must have been really difficult to nail to a door, PB27.

Fan-man, 2006.02.27 (Mon) 21:51 [Link] »

95 feces? That sounds Catholic-like in nature, but I'm lost. I hate to ask, but can you explain the joke? I hate to miss out on a good joke.

Jeff from the Two Percent Company, 2006.02.27 (Mon) 21:58 [Link] »

Never hurts to ask, Fan-man. Here you go.

Fan-man, 2006.02.28 (Tue) 10:16 [Link] »

Excellent! I wasn't familiar with the story and "95 feces" wasn't pulling many useful hits on my internet search.
I know I'm a day late and dollar short, but that's funny stuff.

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